home again.

they say you can never go home again. well, here i am. but seriously... my parents are selling their house. it is the house i grew up in. it's also the house my father grew up in. my grandfather built it in 1938 in a field, and a neighborhood grew together around it. when my mom and dad were teenagers, my mom lived just around the corner. they didn't date in high school, because my mom was a cheerleader and my dad was a nerd. she actually dated my dad's older brother, who was an athlete. but when she grew up, she realized that nerds rule and jocks suck. the house has huge oak trees and a creek running behind it. i am sad to see it go. so much awesome stuff went down in that house. so many first times. also, its seen it's fair share of badness. dark things. teen angst. if those walls could talk, they'd probably say: "fuck, would it have killed you to turn down that jane's addiction in junior high? jeez. there are other ways to piss off your parents."
so now i have to go get all my childhood stuff out of the house, and really, i have no idea what i am going to find there. i've been living without it for so long, i must not need any of it. my blue velvet prom dress is the only thing i can think of. i can picture it hanging in the closet. i am really going to leave it behind, even though my first thought is "well i gotta take the prom dress..." but why? nothing magical happened. it was just a prom. it kinda sucked. i went with a friend who was married to someone else. all the kids at my school were scared of him because he had a huge "anarchy" tattoo on his hand. he was learning to be a tattoo artist.
i hope i can resist the temptation to bring home a ton of stuff that has vague memories attached and fill the void left by the things i've been getting rid of lately here at my house. it's like this will be the ultimate test, to let go for real.